You can’t write the perfect comeback. These gems typically come from a creative, quick-witted mind that can deliver sick burns at will, like Oprah Winfrey giving out brand-new cars to her studio audience.

You can, however, draw inspiration from the best ones online. Here are some of those we’ve collected and compiled into this list, which you can bookmark for future reference. Feel free to analyze them anytime and see why these work so well.

But in the meantime, you can read through them and be thoroughly entertained, too.

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#1

Shakespeare’s gems: “Let’s meet as little as we can.” “I do desire we may be better strangers.”

#2

“Somewhere out there is a tree providing you oxygen find it and apologize”

#3

As a person who worked in a call center my favorite was “I can explain it for you, but I cannot understand it for you”

#4

“I love that you don’t let facts get in the way of your opinions”

#5

“I’m not saying you’re the dumbest person in the world, but you better hope the dumbest person in the world doesn’t die” I heard an old white guy say it and I bust out laughing every time I think of or hear it

#6

my personal fav “when the wind blows, does your head whistle?”

#7

“I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.”

#8

“Ur probably the first person ive met to reach their full potential “

#9

“I know you tried your best, that’s what makes it so disappointing”

#10

“I would insult you, but then id have to explain the insult to you and I just dont have that kind of time.”

#11

I’m sure you brighten every room you leave

#12

“You should start a business… and mind it” is my favorite

#13

heard this one recently “your two cents is why they’re getting rid of pennies”

#14

“You couldn’t dump water out of a boot even if the instructions were on the bottom”

#15

U have a unique way of speaking that makes people appreciate your silence

#16

“I really admire your courage to speak in the absence of knowledge”

#17

“I see you’re committed to your current level of understanding”

#18

“I envy the people that don’t know you”

#19

„I would explain it slower, but I don’t believe speed is the problem.”

#20

“You possess a mind that is completely unburdened by the complications of thought”

#21

“i see you’ve set boundaries between yourself and common sense “

#22

This is my work insult: That’s an interesting conclusion you have come to considering the resources available to you.

#23

Besides the obvious what would you change about yourself

#24

“As sharp as a marble”

#25

Working with you is like working alone but harder

#26

I admire your simplicity when it comes to critical thinking

#27

“Now that you’ve made the wrong answer obvious to everyone we can continue”

#28

I love telling people. “I hope you have the day you deserve.”

#29

“I know you’re trying YOUR best but can you try someone else’s?”

#30

“I expect nothing from you and you somehow still manage to let me down”

#31

“thank you for showing me the person i don’t want to be”

#32

I’m jealous of the people that haven’t met you yet

#33

Your learning curve must be a circle

#34

“Intelligence is chasing you, but you are faster”

#35

“It must be so peaceful inside your mind”

#36

I saw someone get called an irregular verb earlier today

#37

“and you were the fastest swimmer?”

#38

Someone said “whatever makes u feel taller”

#39

“You have a brilliant future behind you.”

#40

If brains were measured in cotton, you’d have enough to make a tampon for a flea

#41

Shake ya head and let me know if you hear rocks

#42

Someone said I “look like I earn Monopoly money”

#43

Someone called someone a Honda civic on here once and it still makes me giggle

#44

girl i was told by a kid “my aura has ads”

#45

Somebody told me I look like a left handed drawing

#46

As my Grammy said “you’re as sharp as a circle”

#47

I read somewhere “I want you to be a pallbearer at my funeral so you can let me down one more time”

#48

my sister calls me a “troglodyte” on the regular

#49

“You couldn’t find your way out of a wet paper bag, with scissors in both hands.”

#50

calling someone a busted radiator has been mine lately

#51

“I see you’re allergic to effort”

#52

The answer is trying to catch you but you’re just too fast!

#53

Not arguing with someone who should’ve been swallowed

#54

Heard someone say “you make water look like it has calories” and I haven’t been the same since

#55

“Not even Ed Sheeran could describe the Shape Of u”

#56

My home girl loves calling people “facially challenged” and honestly it’s always stuck with me

#57

Telling a man that you love his pixie cut

#58

keep smiling yellow is my favorite color

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58 Times Someone Won An Argument With Just One Sentence

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